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So many successful people credit their sense of self and their confidence to their success. But not many people really explain how to build confidence, or how to become confident. It's tricky, because confidence is built on different things, but overall it is built on choices and accomplishments that feed your passion, and that make you feel happy and proud of who you are. Discovering these things is one of the most worthwhile pursuits of you life.
You see them laughing, enjoying themselves, running around and talking to different people. Everyone wants to know them and they just seem to attract people right to themselves. They're fearless in social situations. They love themselves. They're proud. And all you can think is, Why can't that be me?
The official dictionary definition of confidence is, A feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something. A feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances. The quality or state of being certain.
In other words, you believe you are good and can do good. You are sure of yourself and you know that whatever happens, you will be okay.
To put it even more simply: Not being confident in yourself sucks. You're worried about saying something stupid. You're thinking about all the things that can go wrong. You feel uneasy, anxious, and like everyone's always judging you.
Do you think you might not be as confident as you could be? Life coach Celes Chua gives 8 examples of actions people with low confidence do:
Undervaluing what they are capable of.
Taking blame even when it is not their fault.
Being overly shy and reserved.
Being overly critical of themselves, for example neurotic perfectionists.
Being hung up over negative outcomes and failures in the past.
Having a preoccupation with the negative outcomes and failure even though they have not manifested yet.
Having a fearful and adverse attitude toward most things.
Doing things to please others.
Do you identify with any of these? Do you find that you consistently do them? Do you want to change and know how to be confident and happy?
If you suffer from lack of self-confidence, you know that it truly IS a kind of suffering. You may feel less than others, unsure of what you think and believe, and/or unaware of your own strengths. These feelings may cause you to approach life with timidity, defensiveness, or an excessive need to please others.
Some people can project confidence without really owning it, but the kind of self-esteem that is important is not just an act. It is a positive feeling about yourself, your ideas, and your worth that enables you to take good care of yourself, stand on an equal footing with others, and feel pride about yourself and how you live your life.